Married Life: Moving into a New Home

I guess it is pretty obvious that one big part of marriage is making sure that you have a home to move into and start a family with.

I mean, for some, it might be OK to either live in the house of either the husband or the wife. This holds no problem if nobody else lives in the house. However, if other family members still live there, problems may arise.

It is always wiser to move out as soon as you are financially capable to move out. This minimizes family feuds and the desire to move out early becomes the drive and motivation for newly weds to ensure that when they make that decision to get married, they are ready to move into a new home of their own.

Nowadays, there are a lot of ways to acquire financial help in order to help out with a home mortgage. However, one has to be careful in choosing financial aid. The best way to go about this is to make sure that you hire a real estate agency like The Joey Crews Team — reputable, credible, efficient and client-centered.

You have to make sure that whoever helps you out in acquiring your dream home are people who want what is best for you, and not put you in great debt just so they can earn more from you. There is a great difference between providing quality service and providing service for the purpose of increasing business. You should hire an agent that cares more for his or her reputation than just earning millions, because then you are sure that they will not do anything to harm their reputation.

With so much things to consider when getting married, this just implies that you also have to be beyond 100 percent sure that you are ready to take the next big step with your loved ones. It is not enough to ask for someone’s hand in marriage and marry them, because there are a lot more things to marriage than just the wedding.

Also, even after purchasing and moving into a new home, there are still other things to consider like neighborhood, education for the kids, etc. Long term goals must be set when entering marriage and it should be clear that this commitment needs the cooperation of both parties – the husband and the wife.

I wish all those who plan to get married soon that they will have the proper guidance in taking this next big step of life.

KEEPING IT HEALTHY FOR FIRST TIME MOTHERS

Let me share with you all the story of a friend that would pretty much make us see the importance of our health as wives, and most especially, as mothers.

I have just recently given birth to a beautiful baby girl. While I was pregnant, I had to give up my work because it was my first time and I really found it difficult to deal with the pressure of the pregnancy, and I don’t want my working adding more to that. After giving birth, I was horrified that my tummy still hasn’t shrunk back to the way it was. Well, I really did not expect it to go back just like before, but I expected it to at least shrink a little. Yet, it was still very big, like I only went back to the time when I was 5 months pregnant.

The OB Gynecologist said that this was normal. That usually the stretched out tummy of a recently pregnant woman will slowly shrink in 6 months after giving birth. As I took that in, feeling dismayed that I couldn’t get my pre-pregnancy, sexy cheerleader abs back just yet, the doctor bombarded me with even more bad news. She said I should not do any physical activities of any sort nor stress myself out. I should rest for at least 3-4 months and do mundane tasks only. I was taken aback. That long without exercise? How about work? She further explained that it was my first time so longer rest should be given to the body.

So, there I was, with a flabby stomach, and with physical restrictions and unemployed. Good thing my baby girl feels so warm that even though the news bothered me badly, I’m still thankful for a healthy baby angel.

For days, friends came and went to see my precious child and everyone kept telling me to stay healthy for my baby girl.

For some reason, I disobeyed my OB. I went ahead and jogged one morning, and let me tell you, it was the worst decision ever. I almost passed out in the street. Thankfully I had enough will power to make it back to our house, where I then passed out. My husband had to leave work and head home to check on me. I was really embarrassed by my behavior and for causing trouble. Since then, I stayed away from strenuous activities and focused on my daughter.

Good thing we have a good internet and phone service, so what I did during the times when I had nothing better to do, was to browse the Internet for new recipes, for tips on parenting, for home hacks, and even, for simple yoga exercises that woman can do post-pregnancy.

If there was anything I learned that I want to share, it is the fact that while we thought that being a wife was already a big challenge, becoming a mother is a totally different kind of extra challenge. It has its own sets of demands and sacrifices, and we have to be selfless enough to understand that it is not about just us now, but more about the child and what is best for her. I had to give up on making myself feel sexy because if I get sick trying to be who I was before getting pregnant, then I would be risking my health, which would also greatly affect my daughter.

 

Limits to Do-it-Yourself Home Improvement Methods

Image Credit: hahahu.tv

Image Credit: hahahu.tv

People like to cut off from their everyday expenses as much as possible. That is why, when it comes to home improvement, Do-it-yourself has somehow become a trend and a motto for most people.

This is of course a good way to go. When you do things yourself, you get to do it just the way you want it to go. You get to adjust, change your plans along the way, be spontaneous about what to add or omit, and do a lot more.

Doing things yourself also makes you feel that you are indeed the owner of the place. Your touches and your techniques, splashed out all across the areas of the house will warm up the entire space with your love and your art.

This has been the philosophy of my husband. He loves the way he does everything in the house by himself, especially for the tricky parts that needed the power and strength of a man. Everything, from home decoration to wallpaper installment to landscaping the garden, it was all Erin. It was something he does to prove to himself and to me that he is the man of the house. He never felt the need to call up and outsource manpower services and whatnot. He even does the buying of materials by himself.

As his wife, of course I have to support his desires and decisions. However, there are limits to doing your home improvements on your own. There are just some things that require the need of experts because they have the knowledge and the specific skills to get the job done. This is not to say that people cannot do it by themselves. They could still attempt to do things their own way, but it will not be as efficient as those that are done by experts. It would also mean lesser quality that could result to repetitive fixing and cleaning on the same problem.

This is exactly what happened when Erin neglected seeking professional help for a plumbing problem that we once had in our kitchen. He went about doing things his own way, relying on the information that the internet tells him he could do. Day after day the area just became worse until his techniques no longer worked.

I finally decided to ask him to try and seek out professional help from any plumber in Anniston that friends or the internet might recommend to fix our problem for us. He was beginning to get grumpy so I had to comfort him and tell him that we can search for the most affordable one if he is concerned with the fee. He said he was not, that he just doesn’t like other people doing anything about his home. I had to tell him that it will all be for the better.

Against his will, instead of searching for fixes, he searched for a professional plumbing company and came across the this Yelp page.

Everything was fixed in no time, and I was able to use the kitchen area again, with ease.

Erin resented having to call for outside help, but when he saw the finished “product”, he was amazed at the results. Now he is just thankful he got rid of the problem before it got worse.

Marriage Responsibilities: Starting a Family

Image Credit: studentdoctor.net

Image Credit: studentdoctor.net

Another vital part of marriage that people sometimes neglect to appreciate is the path of motherhood. This role that mothers take part in, is something as equally important as marriage. In a sense, it is the marriage of the parents, especially the mother, towards the child.

Image Credit: makescents2me.com

Image Credit: makescents2me.com

For women, finding out that you are soon going to have a baby, is probably one of the most bittersweet moments in life. It is sweet because finally, you will have a baby to cherish and love and care for. It’s also bitter, in a good way, because you know you have to enter the life of motherhood which begins with enduring 9 months of difficulty and the excruciating pain of labor. And that is only the beginning.

The husband should understand the difficulties that a mother has to go through even when the baby is still inside her womb. They have to support their wives as they pass through this stage. After all, they, as a couple, wanted to have the child, and even when the child is only inside the wife’s womb, the father also has to be just as attentive and sensitive to the needs of his wife so that the pregnancy phase will be smooth and free of worries.

In older generations, the duties and responsibilities in a home are divided into the “husband’s chores” and the “wife’s chores”. Men are asked to be the bread winner, making sure that their wife and their children are fed, clothed, sheltered, and living a comfortable life. They have to work, and work hard at it, just so they can ensure that they fulfil their role as a husband and as father. The women have to stay at home and look out for the children. They have to keep the house in proper order, feed the children, take care of her husband when he arrives from work, and follow the decisions that the husband makes for them.

However, through the years, the roles of husband and wife have changed, and along with it are the interchanges in responsibilities. Women can now provide financially too, and this no longer affects the ego of men as it used to, during the older generations. Men are also welcomed to do household chores that were once only meant for women. They can cook if they can, and they can look out for the children if they have to.

These changes in responsibility are also sometimes the root cause for recent couples to fight during marriage. Some are not able to adapt to these changes and accept them as open-heartedly as others can, making them more vulnerable to fights that sometimes lead to ugly endings.

To help prevent these things from ever coming up, or reaching a point of no return, it is important to talk and spend time with each other away from the kids and everything else.

Types of Marriages

The concept of marriage has changed over time. While this is so, it has remained a vital part in society formation and it still has its merits for those who still value it, both in its sacredness and in its emotional gravity.

Image Credit: publiceye.com

Image Credit: publiceye.com

Marriage has many faces. From the generations of the past up to the present, marriage occurs for different purposes that are validated by society and by unwritten rules of life and love.

One type of marriage, the most sought after kind of marriage, the marriage that is said to be ideal and is the ‘real thing’ among all marriages, is a marriage bound by love. Love between two people who wish to spend the rest of their lives together, to grow in that love and to have a family born out of that love. It is the union of two people, who were once strangers, now with the desire to treat each other as one through marriage. They marry to receive the blessing of the Supreme Being, and they marry to make the union legal and unbreakable.

This type of marriage is what romantics hope for. This is the marriage that they search for. They think that marriage will determine that what they have with someone, the emotions and the feelings, are indeed true love. For these people, the only way to prove your love is real is to make it official in the eyes of God and in the eyes of the court.

Image Credit: prezi.com

Image Credit: prezi.com

Another type of marriage is an arranged marriage. The reason for this kind of marriage, just like in the old times, is to keep a certain lineage alive. Royals wed royals, clans unite through the weddings of heirs, etc. Now that things have become more modern, the concept of arrange marriage is still as it is, only, instead of clans, businesses are solidified through weddings, and power and wealth are kept intact through this set-up as well.

This type of marriage is scrutinized by those who believe that only love should bind marriage, while the people who prefer arranged marriage for a secured future, looks down on people who marry for love.

The debate on this will never cease to end, because each type of marriage have their merits and their flaws. Those who bind for love, though not all of them, tend to marry a person because of love alone, disregarding the impact that their marriage could bring in their future. They believe that love could conquer all, despite the difficulty. On the other hand, those that bond for power and money lack love and sincerity in their marriage.

This is not to say that all marriages are a failure. I may have encountered a lot of failed marriages in my life as a marriage counsellor, I still believe that some marriages are a success, and there are lots of those.

The success of a marriage lies in the desire of the couple for it to be successful; it’s that simple.

Image Credit: intercollegiatereview.com

Image Credit: intercollegiatereview.com